


Have I Ever Told You How Much I Hate Boys?

by TheBizarreHairTrio



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Akashi Is Nice, And Motherly, Aomine Is Nicer (Sorta), Gen, Haizaki Is Much Less Of An Asshole, Momoi Is Unchanged, The GoM And Kuroko Are Like A Family, The Team Coaches Are Sexist Bastards, They Are All Annoying Protective Of Each Other, Warning: This May Be Half-Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-01 09:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6512191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBizarreHairTrio/pseuds/TheBizarreHairTrio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the majority of Japan's high school basketball team coaches are all sexist bastards, and the Generation of Miracles are all girls that are basically like a family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pissing Women Off Is The Quickest Way To End Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> For reference:
> 
> Akashi Seijuurou is now Akashi Seiyuuka  
> Aomine Daiki is now Aomine Daiya  
> Haizaki Shougo is now Haizaki Shouko  
> Kise Ryouta is now Kise Ryouko  
> Kuroko Tetsuya is now Kuroko Tetsuna  
> Midorima Shintarou is now Midorima Shinobu  
> Murasakibara Atsushi is now Murasakibara Atsumi

Does the world hate her or something? Seriously though, why? Why her?

 

Kuroko Tetsuna was currently weaving through the crowd at Seirin, her new school, searching for a girls' basketball team. In middle school, the teams were mixed. In high school, there's the girls' team and the boys' team. And unfortunately, this high school does not have girls' team. She prays that they let her join the boys' team.

 

But no. Of course not, because life is never easy for her. The coach (who is also a girl, can you believe that?!) kicks her out of the gym because if she "isn't here to be a manager, then there is no spot for her on this team." Tetsuna really has never felt so angry before. She contemplated punching the wall, but she doesn't want to damage her hand. That would be bad. Also, she'd probably start rumors about a vengeful ghost wanting to enter the school because someone pushed them off the roof (that has actually happened back in junior high).

 

Secretly, she hopes the others have had more luck. And, if they had, that she can transfer there and join the team. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

She really hadn't counted on the coach being such a sexist.

 

Kise Ryouko was _furious._  Kaijou didn't have a girls' basketball team, she knew that when she enrolled here. She had counted on the boys' team accepting her once they saw her skills, but of course not. The coach called her "fragile and easy to break" and "probably so weak that even his third stringer could beat her." He refused her acceptance in the team because he thought she was too shallow for basketball. 

 

She kind of wants to kick him the the place where the sun does not shine but she's not a terrible person. Even she has some honor. Doing that is just horrible. She saves such things for pedophiles and stalkers.

 

 _'Kurokocchi, everyone, I hope you're a lot luckier than I am,'_  she thought.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Shuutoku team should just go to hell.

 

Midorima Shinobu doesn't curse. Unless, of course, she's super pissed off. Which she is, right now. 

 

She could handle being discriminated against for her gender. She could handle being called a bookworm due to her glasses and braids. She could even handle being called weak. But _no one_  insults Oha Asa and gets away with it. _No one._  She be damned if she let anyone insult the show her life revolves around.

 

Which is exactly what brings her here today. She knew Shuutoku didn't have a girls' team. She knew she'd probably wouldn't be accepted quickly in the boys' team (not like she cared, not at all). She could take the worst insults anytime, anywhere, especially when boys are the ones insulting her. But insulting Oha Asa was the last straw. She shot the ball into the hoop two courts away (since the Shuutoku gym was huge) and walked out of the gym before she could see it go in (it obviously would, since Cancer was ranked first today and she had her lucky item: a roll of tape).

 

Hopefully, the others had better luck. She doubted it, of course. She was ranked first today and she couldn't even get in.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

She's only been at school for five hours and she's pretty sure she might get suspended.

 

Aomine Daiya was never a woman of words. She's a woman of action. So when some guy insults her after she's about to walk out of the gym all nice and quiet, she's going to break his jaw with one of her signature punches. 

 

She hates being insulted. Even more so if it's her teammates. And she definitely won't stand for some guy that calls her weak even though she's dribbled _circles_  around players way better and older than him when she was seven.

 

Daiya really thought that Touou was different. They actually let her try out, but they didn't let her in. That snake of a captain simply said that they had no room for a girl like her and didn't need her to stain their reputation. Her childhood friend Momoi Satsuki had calmed her down enough so she wouldn't punch the lights out of this guy, and then while she was about to take her leave, some blonde second year called her "weak" and "some girl that wanted to join as a player just because she wants to be around sweaty guys and is too dumb to be a manager." And then he asks Satsuki out on a date like he hadn't just insulted her. Something inside the blue haired girl snaps and she punches him in the jaw. She's pretty sure she broke it, but she doesn't care. She high tails it out of there while the team in screaming their heads off.

 

She wonders if the others are experiencing similar situations.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

She never really liked basketball, but being jeered at is something that she can't stand.

 

Murasakibara Atsumi thought that she should join the basketball club. She couldn't find the girls' one, so she tried out for the boys' one, thinking they'd let her become one of the starting members if they saw her talent. Unfortunately, she didn't even get that far.

 

They insulted her height, the way she talked, and the abundance of snacks she had. They called her cruel names. She grabbed the top of their hands, glaring, and they ran away screaming, resulting in the coach (who was a girl as well) kicking her out and waving a kendo sword around, threatening that if she ever came back in there again, she'd have her expelled.

 

She decided that she hated Yousen. Maybe everyone else was also having a hard time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was a pity she couldn't use her scissors on the principal.

 

Akashi Seiyuuka wanted to kill someone. Preferably the idiotic and sexist principal of Rakuzan. Or anyone on that basketball team. Anyone would do, as long as they were connected to the source of her anger. And that source was the basketball team.

 

She planned on joining the boys' team when she accepted the scholarship for the school. As long as someone had talent, gender did not matter, correct? Apparently, the coach did not think the same. Neither did the players, as they all sneered in contempt at her. They saw her as some spoiled, bratty girl that believed she could do anything she wanted because her daddy was some rich guy. Yes, Seiyuuka was filthy rich. But she had talent and intelligence to back up her arrogance. 

 

She knew the others were probably getting the same treatment. And no one was going to undermine the Generation of Miracles because of their gender.

 

She quickly pulled out her phone and messaged the entire group.

 

_From: Seiyuukacchi/Yuuka-chan/Seiyu/Yuuka-chin/Seiyuuka-san/Seiyuuka_

_To: Ryouko, Satsuki, Daiya, Atsumi, Tetsuna, & Shinobu_

_Subject: Revenge_

 

_I assume you were all denied a place in the basketball team because of your gender. Search the entire country and find one school that accepts females in the boys' team. I'll handle the transfer papers and living expenses. We'll crush those discriminating against us underneath our feet and prove that we are equal, or even superior._

 

Tetsuna quickly typed her answer.

 

_From: Tetsunacchi/Tsuna-chan/Tetsu/Tsuna-chin/Tetsuna_

_To: Ryouko-san, Satsuki-san, Daiya-san, Atsumi-san, Shinobu-san, & Seiyuuka-san _

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_I am content with that idea. I will start my search right away._

 

Ryouko brightened, smiling excitably.

 

_From: Ryou-chan/Ryou/Ryou-chin/Ryouko-san/Ryouko_

_To: Satsukicchi, Daiyacchi, Atsumicchi, Tetsunacchi, Shinobucchi, & Seiyuukacchi_

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_(≧∇≦)/ (/◕ヮ◕)/ (^o^)丿 YAYAYAYAYYAY! We get to beat them all! (ToT) But they really were mean! They called me weak and fragile! I bet they couldn't even last an entire shopping trip with me!_

 

A smile tugged at Shinobu's lips.

 

_From: Shinobucchi/Shino-chan/Shino/Shino-chin/Shinobu-san/Shinobu_

_To: Ryouko, Satsuki, Daiya, Atsumi, Tetsuna, & Seiyuuka_

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_I agree to your terms. They insulted Oha Asa! They will pay for their disrespect._

 

Daiya yawned, blinking at the messages she had received.

 

_From: Daiyacchi/Dai-chan/Daiya-chin/Daiya-san/Daiya_

_To: Ryou, Satsu, Atsu, Tetsu, Shino, & Seiyu _

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_I'll fucking destroy them for insulting me. Also, I broke one of the guys' nose. So I'm glad I might transfer because I might be expelled for that._

 

Satsuki grinned.

 

_From: Satsukicchi/Satsu/Sacchin/Satsuki-san/Satsuki_

_To: Ryou-chan, Dai-chan, Tsumi-chan, Tsuna-chan, Shino-chan, & Yuuka-chan_

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_I can't wait to get back together! ＼(^o^)／ (*^0^*) I'm so excited!_

 

Atsumi stopped munching on her snacks, pausing to answer the message.

 

_From: Atsumicchi/Tsumi-chan/Atsu/Atsumi-san/Atsumi_

_To: Ryou-chin, Sacchin, Daiya-chin, Tsuna-chin, Shino-chin, & Yuuka-chin_

_Subject: Re:Revenge_

 

_I hate them. I'll crush them._

 

All seven of the girls smiled widely at their phones, all in different places yet all thinking at the same time, _'You never should have pissed us off, damn coaches!'_


	2. If You're Going To Take The World By Storm, At Least Do So With A Good Hairstyle

"So, you're saying you don't care about gender, as long as they play well?"

 

"Yes, that's what I'm saying."

 

"Oh my god, thank you so much, Coach Akitori!" A certain pink haired girl bounced out of the gym, humming to herself. She took out her phone and quickly emailed a message to a certain group of rainbow haired girls.

 

_From: Satsukicchi/Satsu/Sacchin/Satsuki-san/Satsuki_

_To: Ryou-chan, Dai-chan, Tsumi-chan, Tsuna-chan, Shino-chan, & Yuuka-chan_

_Subject: School  
_

 

_Guys, guess whaaaaaaaat? I found a school for us to play at! (≧∇≦)/_

 

She counted in her head. _'One... Two... Three... Four... Fi—'_  She was interrupted by a little _ding. 'Wow, it took only five seconds for them to respond.'_ Her phone kept _ding_ ing, so she waited until after the fifth notification, then checked her phone.

 

_From: Ryou-chan/Ryou/Ryou-chin/Ryouko-san/Ryouko_

_To: Satsukicchi, Daiyacchi, Atsumicchi, Tetsunacchi, Shinobucchi, & Seiyuukachi_

_Subject: Re:School  
_

 

_＼(◎o◎)／ Awesome! Satsukicchi, you're so awesome! Where's the school? Where is it? Whereeeeeeeeee?_

 

_From: Seiyuukacchi/Yuuka-chan/Seiyu/Yuuka-chin/Seiyuuka-san/Seiyuuka_

_To:Ryouko, Satsuki, Daiya, Atsumi, Tetsuna, & Shinobu_

_Subject: Re:School_   
  


_Good work, Satsuki. What is the name of this kind school?_

 

_From: Shinobucchi/Shino-chan/Shino/Shino-chin/Shinobu-san/Shinobu_

_To: Ryouko, Satsuki, Daiya, Atsumi, Tetsuna, & Seiyuuka_

_Subject: Re:School  
_

 

_Hmph. As expected of our manager. What school is it?_

 

_From: Daiyacchi/Dai-chan/Daiya-chin/Daiya-san/Daiya_

_To: Ryou, Satsu, Atsu, Tetsu, Shino, & Seiyu _

_Subject: Re:School  
_

 

_I don't care what school it is, as long as I can play basketball on the team!_

 

_From: Tetsunacchi/Tsuna-chan/Tetsu/Tsuna-chin/Tetsuna_

_To: Ryouko-san, Satsuki-san, Daiya-san, Atsumi-san, Shinobu-san, & Seiyuuka-san_

_Subject: Re:School  
_

 

_Nicely done. What school?_

 

_From: Atsumicchi/Tsumi-chan/Atsu/Atsumi-san/Atsumi_

_To: Ryou-chin, Sacchin, Daiya-chin, Tsuna-chin, Shino-chin, & Yuuka-chin_

_Subject: Re:School  
_

 

_Can I crush them now?_

 

Satsuki grinned, then replied to each of their messages.

 

_From: Satsukicchi/Satsu/Sacchin/Satsuki-san/Satsuki_

_To: Ryou-chan, Dai-chan, Tsumi-chan, Tsuna-chan, Shino-chan, & Yuuka-chan_

_Subject: Re:School_

 

_It's called Tendai High, and the coach's name is Akitori Shigure! It's located in West Tokyo, so we won't have to travel so far. It has dorms, though, so we can live there._

 

Her phone sounded one more time, with only one message.

 

_From:_ _Seiyuukacchi/Yuuka-chan/Seiyu/Yuuka-chin/Seiyuuka-san/Seiyuuka_

_To:Ryouko, Satsuki, Daiya, Atsumi, Tetsuna, & Shinobu_

_Subject: Re:School_

 

_Everybody, come to my house in Kyoto. We will discuss more there._

 

Satsuki sighed. Kyoto was hours away, but nobody wanted to go against their red headed captain. No sir, they rather like being alive, thank you very much! She was sure everyone else was rushing to the nearest bullet train station. She felt sorry for a certain purple head, whose school was in Akita and was even father away from Kyoto. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hours later would find most of the 'Generation of Miracles' sans Atsumi in the living room of the Akashi mansion in Kyoto. Said redhead was gliding down the stairs regally like a queen, the complete opposite of Daiya, who was sprawled on the coach unceremoniously.

 

"Ryouko, Daiya, Satsuki, Shinobu. Where is Tetsuna?" She looked around for the phantom player.

 

"I'm right here," said the familiar soft voice which belonged to the light blue haired girl, and she seemed to appear out of thin air right behind the couch Daiya was laying on.

 

The dark blue haired girl shrieked at the shadow's sudden appearance and fell off the couch, while Ryouko glomped Tetsuna and started crying.

 

"Tetsunacchi, your hair!" The blonde's expression was one of shock. "Your beautiful hair!"

 

"What about my hair?" Tetsuna asked bluntly.

 

Shinobu pushed her glasses up with her right hand, while her taped left hand held an eight-pack of batteries. "You seem to have cut it," she replied, pointing out the light blue haired girl's chin length hair.

 

Satsuki noticed the haircut, and started shrieking herself. "What did you do to your hair?!"

 

"I cut it."

 

"Why?! It was so beautiful long!" The pink haired girl joined in on clinging to Tetsuna, crying about how her best friend's hair just "died because of a horrible hair cut," how it "saved so many lives," and how many people were "going to die because her hair is so short now."

 

Daiya snorted. "You guys are exaggerating. Besides, it's not as short as my hair, you know."

 

Both Satsuki and Ryouko whipped their heads around and screeched, "We're not exaggerating!"

 

"S-Satsuki-san... Ryouko-san.... I can't breathe...."

 

"Oi, get off Tetsu!"

 

"Satsuki, Ryouko." The voice of their captain made the pair freeze in place. "Let go of Tetsuna or suffer the consequences."

 

"Yes, ma'am, sorry ma'am." They quickly detached themselves from the small girl and scurried far away from the red headed captain, who had a pair of scissors out and was opening and closing them suggestively.

 

"Thank you, Seiyuuka-san." Tetsuna rubbed her arms, trying to get feeling back into them.

 

"No problem." Seiyuuka sat down in one of the armchairs in the room, crossing her legs. "Now, all we have to do is wait for Atsumi."

 

Daiya yawned. "I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when she gets here." She laid back on one of the couches and closed her eyes, her hands behind her head.

 

"Dai-chan!" scolded Satsuki. "Don't sleep!"

 

The dark blue haired girl opened one eye. "Satsu, what else am I supposed to do? I don't have any of my Horikita Mai magazines."

 

"And I'm glad that you didn't bring any of those perverted magazines! You're a girl, you know, so stop looking at other naked woman! That's for boys!"

 

"Shut up, Satsu! Just let me sleep!"

 

"Ugh!" The pinkette threw up her hands in defeat and flopped down on the couch.

 

Ryouko's phone kept ringing every few seconds, causing a tick mark to appear on Shinobu's head. "Could you _please_  turn that infernal ringing off?" she asked dangerously.

 

"But Shinobucchi! That's rude to my fans!"

 

"Do I look like I care?"

 

"Well, you should!" The blonde's eyes strayed to the green head's twin braids. "Hey, hey, Shinobucchi, I'll turn off my phone if you do something for me."

 

"Something tells me I'm going to regret asking," sighed Shinobu. "Do what?"

 

"Let me do your hair!" exclaimed the model.

 

"No."

 

"Please? Pretty please?" She fluttered her eyelashes, clasping her hands together. "Shinobucchi~"

 

"That's not going to work on me, idiot."

 

Before the blonde could start another one of her begging sessions, the intercom beeped.

 

 _"Yuuka-chin, I'm here~"_  

 

Seiyuuka smiled and stood up, walking towards the door and opening it, inviting the tall purple head in. "Atsumi, did you have a nice trip here?"

 

She chewed on a handful of chips before answering. "It was fine," she said in a rather disinterested voice. "Some annoying guy was sitting next to me, so I said I'd crush him, and he moved away."

 

All the occupants of the room sans Atsumi and Seiyuuka sweat dropped. _'I feel sorry for that guy,'_  they all thought in unison.

 

Seiyuuka smiled as they all sat down, Satsuki pinching Daiya in the side to wake her up. "Now, let's begin." She folded her hands and placed them in her lap. "The high school we'll all be attending is Tendai High. I've done some research and found that they are a middle tier school and a fallen powerhouse. Before the Three Kings of Tokyo took over, they were the top contenders, and even beat Rakuzan a few times for the Winter Cup. However, they have declined, and are now simply an average school, neither good nor bad."

 

Shinobu scoffed. "They'll have to do, I suppose."

 

"Shinobu-san, we should be grateful for this one school that is willing to take us," remarked Tetsuna monotonously. "We wouldn't be able to play if this school banned females from joining like the rest." The green haired girl adjusted her glasses but did not offer a retort.

 

"The coach is rather nice," piped up Satsuki. "Akitori Shigure, 39 years old, former member and starter of the National basketball team. Was involved in an unfortunate accident during his third year on the team and had to quit. His left leg is much stiffer than his right due to the accident, but he is a good coach. He just needs the right resources. He's divorced, but his son is a second year and plays on the team. The team itself has only a first and second string, and the core members are second years and third years. There are no players really worthy to take note of."

 

Ryouko sighed. "Well, we could just challenge their regulars to a match, and say that when we win, we get total control of the club."

 

Satsuki smiled. "Oh, I've already taken care of that. Yuuka-chan and the current captain will be sharing the captaincy. However, he'll let Yuuka-chan make most of the decisions. He only wants a little say in the more pressing matters."

 

"Oh?" Seiyuuka raised an eyebrow, her lips curling upwards in amusement. "Isn't that nice?" She stared at each and every one of the group. "Well, on Monday we'll be transferring to Tendai," she announced. "We should get ourselves acquainted with the school over the weekend and move our stuff into the dorms, given that they have room." She glanced over at Satsuki. "So they have room?"

 

She nodded. "Yes, since nobody really uses the dorms. We can pick whatever room we want, but a roommate is required."

 

The redhead smiled. "Well, then we'll figure that out. I expect all of you to wake up early tomorrow so that you can collect your things and bring them over to the school."

 

"Wait, we're staying here tonight?!" asked Daiya.

 

"Of course we are, Daiya-chin~" Atsumi munched on some chocolates and lazily held up an overnight bag. "You brought your stuff, right~?"

 

"Shit!"

 

"No matter," Seiyuuka cut in. "You can just use the things I bought for you in an emergency."

 

"Thank the gods," sighed Ryouko. "Atsumicchi, Shinobucchi, and Tetsunacchi are the only ones who brought their bags!"

 

"That's because we aren't airheads and are responsible," replied Shinobu haughtily.

 

"So mean, Shinobucchi!"

 

"You guys should have known we were going to stay here for the night," Tetsuna deadpanned.

 

"Eh? Not Tetsunacchi too!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheee~ Finished with the second chapter! Next chapter is where you'll meet my favorite OCs that I created a long time ago, but don't worry, they won't play that big of a role! It'll be centered on the rainbow girls kicking every team's asses.

**Author's Note:**

> Wheee~! So, how was it? Is it good? I hope so! This kind of just smacked me in the face out of the blue so I just had to write it! Anyways, please leave a comment and/or click kudos on your way out!


End file.
